


Starboy

by cryptidserpent



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Bigender Character, Demiboy Phichit, Genderfluid Character, Genderfluid Katsuki Yuuri, Minor Katsuki Yuuri/Victor Nikiforov, Mostly Canon Compliant, Nonbinary Character, Nonbinary Otabek, Other, Trans Male Character, Trans Phichit Chulanont, Trans Yuri Plisetsky, bigender Victor, no one is cis oh my god, this is very self indulgent
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-08
Updated: 2017-03-24
Packaged: 2018-09-15 17:10:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 6,292
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9247385
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cryptidserpent/pseuds/cryptidserpent
Summary: Yuri has loved to skate for has long as he can remember. He loves the feel of the chilled air on his flushed skin. He loves how moving forward requires only a simple flick of his blades. He loves absorbing the energy of the music into his very soul and painting the rink with it. But he hates the boxes he has forced himself into in order to compete in the sport that he loves.





	1. I

**Author's Note:**

  * For [luftballons99](https://archiveofourown.org/users/luftballons99/gifts).



> This is an extremely self-indulgent mess inspired by [luftballoons99's](http://luftballons99.tumblr.com/) trans!yurio art.  
> It also includes many of the headcanons from [this post.](http://luftballons99.tumblr.com/post/154918372216/omg-do-you-have-any-headcanons-abt-trans-yurio-bc)
> 
> Thank you so much for reading! I hope you enjoy your time in trans!yurio hell.  
> Kudos/comments/suggestions/critiques are greatly appreciated!
> 
> Also, I'm not Russian, I don't speak Russian, and I've never been to Russia. So apologies if nothing is accurate.

Yuri has loved to skate for has long as he can remember. He loves the feel of the chilled air on his flushed skin. He loves how moving forward requires only a simple flick of his blades. He loves absorbing the energy of the music into his very soul and painting the rink with it. But he hates the boxes he has forced himself into in order to compete in the sport that he loves. He has to wear skimpy dresses, that are beautiful, yes, but that are not _him_. He must keep his mouth shut and come when they call _her_ name. He is denied the ability to compete with the other men.

Of course, much of this is a direct result of his own cowardice. He knows what his country thinks of people like him, and claiming his true place in the skating world would require him to open his mouth and speak. To let it all rush out. To tell the world that Yulia Plisetskaya, the Fairy of Russia, is actually _Yuri_ _Plisetsky_ , the closeted ice tiger.

But as Yuri’s senior debut grows nearer, the dysphoria gets worse and he eventually decides that now is as good a time as any, right?

He decides to tell Viktor first, since they had come out as bigender a few years before to a surprisingly small amount of backlash, and they were pretty much the only person guaranteed to have a positive response.

“Hey Vitya,” Yuri begins shakily.

“Hello, Yulia,” Viktor replies, smiling warmly from the bench where they sat unlacing their skates.

Yuri masks his wince at the name with a scowl and sits down on the bench next to Viktor.

“ _Kak dela?_ ” asks Viktor.

Yuri braces himself and brushes hair from his shoulder. “Viktor, can I talk to you about something important?”

The smirk drops off Viktor’s face and their eyebrows draw together in concern. “Of course, Kitten. What is it?”

Not even taking the time to address that ridiculous pet name, Yuri takes a deep breath and jumps right into it. “I’m transgender.”

A slight pause, and then Viktor’s arms are around Yuri and they’re pulling him to their chest. “I’m so proud of you, Kitten. Thank you for telling me. I know this must have been hard but I promise I will be there for you every step of the way. I’ll never leave you. You prefer he/him pronouns, I’m assuming?”

Startled into tears, Yuri sits back and nods, wiping the tears from his cheeks with the sleeves of his jacket. “Yeah. And my name’s Yuri, not Yulia.”

Viktor’s eyes widen. “That’s the same name as the beautiful boy from the banquet!”

Yuri blushes. “Is it? I wouldn’t know.”

“Yuri,” Viktor says slowly. “You had a dance off with him. You have a poster of him in your room. You spent an entire week before the Grand Prix talking about how you can’t wait till next season when you’ll finally be able to compete in the senior division where you’ll be at all the same competitions as Yuuri-”

“Ok ok ok. So maybe my name choice was influenced slightly by Katsudon. But it’s also because of the similarity to my birth name.”

“Mhm,” Viktor says, clearly not buying it. “Well, Yuri, I think you and I need to do a little shopping. And I could see a possible chat with Yakov in our future if you’re up for it.”

“Huh?!” Yuri splutters. “Viktor! I don’t have money for shopping! And what would we be talking to Yakov about?”

“Well,” says Viktor warmly. “The shopping is to purchase clothes for you at my expense. I’m sure you’re tired of dressing as Yulia. And the chat with Yakov would be about getting you into the men’s division for your senior debut. If you’re ready for that, of course.”

Yuri can feel the hot lick of impending tears on the back of his eyelids as the warmth of Viktor’s complete and utter acceptance washes over him. “Ok. Whatever. Sure.” _Thank you thank you thank you_ , he means.

Viktor nods at him in understanding, the twinkle returning to their blue eyes. “Alright, Yurochka. Let’s get to the mall before it closes.”

\-----

It turns out that Yuri actually really likes wearing animal prints (particularly those of the cat variety) when they’re not printed on skirts and low-cut tops.

Viktor laughs delightedly when Yuri’s usual scowl is replaced with an unguarded grin as he races through the men’s section of the store grabbing clothes off the racks to try on.

By the time they leave both Yuri and Viktor are weighed down with several shopping bags each and Viktor’s wallet is considerably lighter (not that they’re complaining). Viktor even bought Yuri men’s workout clothes and paid for his hair cut. (“You sure you don’t want it shorter, Yurochka?” – “No, Vitya, I like it a little long.”)

The talk with Yakov ends up being surprisingly low-key. The coach pauses a moment, appearing deep in thought, and then says, “Well, Yuri, I suppose you'll be wanting to compete in the men's division, eh?”

Yuri’s eyes burn and he can feel the uncomfortably familiar sensation of an _emotion_ taking hold of his ridiculous mind. Because Yakov, the famously gruff coach who scouted Yuri at a local competition when he was only six years old, called him _Yuri_.

Overcome with emotion and unable to help himself, Yuri throws his arms around the old man’s waist and buries his face in his coach’s parka. “Yes,” he whispers in delight. “I would be honored to compete in the senior men’s division.”

Yakov splutters, embarrassed but clearly pleased. “Right. Well, I’ll talk to the higher ups. They all owe me at least one favor by now. In the meantime, Vitya can familiarize you with the differences in technical requirements in the men’s division.”

Yuri feels full to the bursting point from all the support he’s getting, and when Viktor ruffles his hair affectionately and asks him if he wants to go to lunch, Yuri finds himself on the verge of tears for the third time that day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kak dela (как дела) = How are you?
> 
> come cry with me on [tumblr](http://rainbow-yuuri.tumblr.com/)


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuri comes out to Grandpa Plisetsky.

A few months later, when winter is finally starting to give way to spring, Yuri works up the courage to come out to his grandpa.

Despite being approved to compete in the men’s division for his senior debut and coming out to most of the other skaters at his home rink in St. Petersburg, he is still terrified to tell his grandpa. He loves and respects and trusts Grandpa Plisetsky more than anyone in the entire world, but that just makes the possibility of rejection even more daunting.

He knows that he has to tell him soon though, since his grandpa will most likely clue into the fact that he is suddenly skating against men and being referred to on national television as Yuri.

So that evening when Nikolai picks Yuri up from practice in his tiny _Lada Granta_ with a hug and a bag of fresh pirozhki, Yuri decides now is as good a time as any.

“Grandpa,” Yuri begins cautiously. He takes a deep breath and opens his mouth before he can decide to just remain silent. “I need to tell you something.”

“What is it, Yulia? You know you can always tell me anything.”

“Uh…” Yuri hesitates. “I’m, um, transgender?”

Nikolai frowns. “You like girls?” he guesses.

Yuri almost laughs. “ _Net_ , I was born in the wrong body. I’m a boy, even though I was born with a female body. I’ve always known I was a boy, I just didn’t always know the word for it. I’ve told Viktor and Yakov and I’m going to be competing in the senior men’s division next season as Yuri Plisetsky, not Yulia Plisetskaya.”

“Okay…” Nikolai says slowly, his face screwed up in concentration. “I’m not sure I fully understand.”

Despite being prepared for the fact that this would probably happen, Yuri can feel his heart slowly dropping in defeat.

“But I’ll always be here for you,” Nikolai continues. “No matter what name you go by or what division you compete in. And I’ll try doing some research on my own to see if I can better wrap my head around this. I’ve always known you were different from the girls you went to school with, Yuri. I suppose this development should not surprise me.”

Yuri is flabbergasted. The nonchalant way in which his grandpa speaks makes him realize just how lucky he is to have such an open-minded person on his side. _And he called him Yuri!_

The dreaded emotions are at it again and Yuri has to employ an embarrassingly high amount of willpower to hold back his tears as he leans across the center console to give Nikolai an awkward one-armed hug. “Thank you Grandpa.”

“You’re welcome, Yuri,” his grandpa responds warmly. “Now eat your pirozhki.”

Yuri has never been happier.

\----

The next time Yuri sees his grandpa; Nikolai comes armed with a pile of 8½ x 11s that he had clearly obtained from the printer in the library near his flat. (By peering over his shoulder, Yuri identifies the top sheet as the transgender Wikipedia page.)

As soon as Yuri takes a seat in the car a bag of pirozhki is thrust at him and his grandpa immediately begins peppering him with questions regarding his transition.

“Are you going to start taking hormones? What about surgery? Are you going to do that? I’ve been reading up and it sounds like -”

“ _Dedushka!_ ” Yuri exclaims in horror.

“What?” asks Nikolai, sounding offended. “I told you I was going to do some research.”

“Oh.” Yuri flushes in embarrassment. “Well, um. I’m not really going to worry about any of those things…yet. Probably when I’m older.”

Nikolai looks as though someone has just taken away a prized possession. “Right. Well, let me know if you need help with any of this stuff.”

Yuri nods and then his grandpa scowls and says gruffly, “Eat your pirozhki, Yura. It’s going to get cold.”

And if the nickname makes Yuri feel a warmth deep in his chest that has nothing to do with the steaming hot pastry, well, Yuri is prepared to fight anyone that calls him on it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lada Granta = a popular Russian car  
> Net (нет) = No  
> Dedushka (дедушка) = Grandpa
> 
> come cry with me on [tumblr](http://rainbow-yuuri.tumblr.com/)


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The 'Stay Close to Me' incident (TM).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much to everyone who has read and/or left me kudos and nice comments!  
> It really motivates me and makes me feel like my time is worthwhile.  
> Honor on you and all of your cows!

Not long after the hardened winter ground begins to thaw and the people of St. Petersburg slowly begin to thaw with it, a video of Yuuri Katsuki skating Viktor’s _Stay Close to Me_ routine is posted on YouTube.

It goes viral, because of course it does. It’s _Yuuri_. And Yuuri is amazing.

Yuri is draped over the side of the rink watching the video for what must have been the tenth time, at least, when Mila skates over and hooks her chin over Yuri’s shoulder.

“Watching it again, Yurochka? Better not let Yakov see. You’re supposed to be perfecting your turns, right?” she asks with a knowing smirk.

Yuri scowls and shoves her off. “Whatever, hag. Like you would know perfection if it bit you on the ass.” He turns back to his phone screen and presses replay.

Mila’s eyebrows jump up in delight. “Wow, Yuri. This crush of yours is better than I ever could have imagined.”

“What?!” shrieks Yuri. “I do _not_ have a crush on Katsudon.”

“You do too!” she exclaims in triumph. “You even call him by that nickname!”

Frustrated, Yuri slams his toe pick into the spot where wall meets ice. “He only has that nickname because he’s such a pig!” _An amazing, inspiring pig,_ Yuri’s traitorous brain supplies unhelpfully.

“Mhm,” snorts Mila, clearly unconvinced.

“Ooo! Are we poking fun at the kitten? My favorite thing!” says Viktor as they skate over to join them, cheeks still flushed from warm-up.

Mila laughs as Yuri glares at the pair of them, attempting to turn away so he can finish re-watching Yuuri’s rendition of Viktor’s routine before Yakov returns. “Mila’s just being a bitch, as usual,” says Yuri grumpily, although he’s not really mad, could never really be mad at Mila after she has repeatedly gone out of her way to reaffirm his masculinity so many times.

“Wow,” Viktor laughs. “The kitten’s got claws.” They mime a pawing motion and get a slap to the arm from Yuri in response.

“You can be a bitch too,” says Yuri pointedly.

Viktor just laughs. “So what’s got you so riled up, Kitten?”

“Nothing,” mumbles Yuri.

But Mila, the traitor, says, “Oh he’s just watching that video of the Japanese Yuuri skating your routine for about the millionth time.”

“Mila, you shit,” Yuri hisses.

But Viktor’s not even paying attention. They’ve gone white as a sheet and have gripped the side wall as if in need of support. “What did you say?” Viktor asks in a hoarse whisper. “What did Japanese Yuuri do?”

Mila rolls her eyes. “Oh come on, Viktor. Don’t tell me you haven’t seen it? It’s all over social media.”

“What?” Viktor asks again dumbly.

“ _Chert_ , you’re dense today Vitya. Yuuri Katsuki skated your _Stay Close to Me_ routine and someone uploaded it to YouTube. It’s gone viral. Yuri here has been watching it nonstop.”

Viktor looks as though they have been hit over the head with a plank of wood. “Yuuri Katsuki skated my routine?”

“Yes,” Mila says tiredly. “That’s what I’ve been saying.”

Dazedly, Viktor remarks, “He danced with me at the banquet.”

“Oh yeah,” says Mila, apparently having forgotten all about it. “I guess that was him.”

“Damnit Viktor, stop bringing up the fucking banquet!” Yuri scowls.

“I wonder if this is a last-ditch attempt for him to try and get you to coach him,” Mila muses.

As though waking up from a drug-induced stupor, Viktor snaps to attention and says suddenly, “I have to go,” immediately turning and exiting the rink.  
“Viktor!” Yuri screams at him. “Where the hell are you going? It’s not even lunch yet! Yakov will have your head!”

But Viktor isn’t listening and is already halfway to the locker-room door. Yuri makes to follow them, but Mila grabs his wrist. “Let them go, Yuri. Viktor’s a grown-up. If they want to piss Yakov off, then that’s their problem. Seriously, though. What is it with you two and this Yuuri guy?”

Yuri scowls and mutters, “piss off, Mila,” but stops trying to follow Viktor, figuring that they will probably return to practice soon enough.

But Viktor doesn’t return. Yuri comes back from lunch and Viktor doesn’t return. He breaks for a snack in mid-afternoon and Viktor doesn’t return. The sun sets and Viktor still doesn’t return.

By the time practice ends Yuri has decided he needs to stop by Viktor’s flat to make sure they’re alright. Although he hates to admit it, Yuri is worried. He has never seen Viktor like that before. Viktor is always cool and composed. No one can ruffle Viktor’s feathers. The only time Yuri has seen Viktor upset was when a visiting skater had repeatedly misgendered Yuri. It had been relatively soon after he had come out, and Viktor was in full over-protective parent mode. And even if he’d rather sell his cat than admit it, Viktor is his emotional rock.

So, yeah. Yuri is worried.

He takes the metro to Viktor’s building, which is something Viktor would probably frown upon if Yuri was ever stupid enough to tell them. Because, _you can never be too careful, Yurochka._

Yuri punches in the code Viktor gave him to get into the building, and strides across the lobby to the elevator. The stupid place is so expensive and sterile looking that every time Yuri sees it he wrinkles his nose in disgust. At least Viktor’s flat is somewhat more lived in than the communal spaces.

When the elevator dings open Yuri marches right up to Viktor’s door and begins banging on it and punching the doorbell repeatedly. “Viktor!” he yells, not giving two shits about neighbors. “Stop being weird and open the door. I have to make sure you’re okay. This is me being a decent friend. Allow me to not be a total shit for once!”

The door behind him swings open. “ _Ditya!_ Nikiforov’s not here.”

Yuri whirls around. A middle-aged man with salt and pepper hair stands in the doorway. “Do you know where they are?”

The man regards him carefully. “Said to not tell anyone where they were going because ‘they might try and stop me.’ Probably wouldn’t have told me if they didn’t want me to keep an eye on their place for them. But I suppose they’ll already be well on their way by now, so it shouldn’t hurt to tell you.”

Yuri narrows his eyes suspiciously. “Spit it out then!”

“Alright, alright. Calm down, _ditya,_ ” the man says with a chuckle. “Japan. Nikiforov went to Japan.”

Now Yuri is the one who feels like he has been hit over the head with a wooden plank. He forces himself to breathe. “Do you know where in Japan?”

The man frowns thoughtfully. “Has-. Has something.”

“Hasetsu,” Yuri supplies, his heart sinking.

“Yeah that was it!”

“How long?”

“Not sure. Said it would be quite a while if all went according to plan.”

Yuri feels like he’s having an out of body experience.

 _If all went according to plan._ What the hell was that asshole thinking? How could they just leave without saying anything? He knew that Viktor didn’t owe him anything. But Viktor had promised him a routine. They had promised to be there for him. _They promised they would never leave me._

Yuri’s rock is gone and he is going to crash and burn.

\----

When he awakes the next morning to his phone blowing up with social media notifications, he isn’t surprised. He just feels numb.

 _Viktor Nikiforov to coach Japanese skater Katsuki Yuuri,_ one headline reads.

Russia is thawing, but Yuri’s frostbitten skin is going to crack beneath the weight of the ice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chert (черт) = damn  
> Ditya (дитя) = kid
> 
> come say hi on [tumblr](http://rainbow-yuuri.tumblr.com/) :)


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuri's Airport Adventures (TM)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am sooo sorry I haven't updated in 800 years, but spring semester started recently and I have had zero free time. So updates are probably going to be coming to you at a snails pace from here on out, sorry about that!
> 
> Also, this chapter deals with some of Yuri's dysphoria, and even though it is pretty mild I just wanted to give a heads up in case that would bother anyone. 
> 
> Thanks for reading!

Instead of handling Viktor’s disappearance like a normal person and heading to practice like he has done every day since he moved to St. Petersburg, Yuri transfers money into his checking account from his extensive savings and buys a ticket for the next flight to Japan.

Yuri knows that he should be focusing on conditioning himself instead of chasing Viktor halfway across the globe, but his career needs Viktor. _He_ needs Viktor. Even if he is slightly terrified to face Yuuri after screaming at him at the Grand Prix Final.

At the time, he had just been so mad because Yuuri was amazing, damn it. He was so much better than last place. After his little outburst, he had been embarrassed. His first face-to-face encounter with his idol and he had called him a moron! So, yeah. Yuri is a bit nervous about barging in on Viktor, and inevitably Yuuri, in such an abrupt manner.

The morning is a blur as Yuri hastily throws his binding tape and clothes into a suitcase and attempts to mentally steel himself for the inevitable dubious looks directed at his passport’s gender marker and legal name. This will be his first time travelling since coming out and he would be lying to himself if he said he wasn’t nervous. He hopes that since he still looks pretty androgynous that there won’t be too many questions, but still, he worries.

The taxi ride to the airport is uneventful and Yuri finds himself in the security line with plenty of time to spare before his flight departs. He tries to hide himself completely behind the veil of his golden hair, and as he approaches the security officer his palms begin to sweat.

“Yulia Plisetskaya?” the officer asks, turning a no-nonsense gaze onto Yuri.

“ _Da_ ,” replies Yuri in the girliest voice he can muster.

The officer’s eyes narrow. “You better be careful, miss. People might start to think that you’re trying to be a boy, the way you’re dressed.”

Yuri can feel his heart slamming violently against his ribs and he struggles to maintain a straight face as he chokes out a hasty, “Right, thanks,” so that the officer will hand over his stamped passport and boarding pass.

He tugs his hood up and forces himself to take deep, even breaths as he makes his way through the full-body scanner and retrieves his backpack from the conveyor belt.

Walking quickly, he manages to find a secluded corner where he can sit without making a spectacle of himself. His breath is coming hard and fast and he can feel his binding tape pulling at the delicate skin of his chest and restricting his lungs.

_Miss. Trying to be a boy. The way you’re dressed._

Yuri hadn’t been misgendered in quite a while due to the supportive environment that he is usually surrounded by at the rink, and had forgotten how deep those words could cut. They shouldn’t bother him. He is a boy, and he knows that with every piece of his soul. But he also knows that his features aren’t the most masculine. But he had purposefully raised the pitch of his voice! He had wanted the officer to view him as a girl so that there wouldn’t be prying questions about his gender. Yuri was just fed up with himself and his body and his dysphoria. Why couldn’t he have been born in the right body?

And why is it that he is always so very alone? He acts like he needs nothing and no one but that is an act. He’s a kid. A scared, fifteen-year-old kid that was born in the wrong body and whose life is much too public for his liking.

He had put all of his trust into Viktor and they had left him. And he doesn’t know if he feels more angry or more abandoned about that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Da (Да) = yes
> 
> come talk to me on [tumblr](http://rainbow-yuuri.tumblr.com/) :)


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuri finally makes it to Hasetsu!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey so I'm not dead!! School has just been really crazy lately but I'm on spring break now so hopefully I can get at least another update up this week.  
> Also this chapter is a bit longer (still kinda short I know) since I had a long bus ride home from school today to work on it.  
> Thank you so so much for reading :*  
> Enjoy!

By the time the plane lands in Tokyo after the twelve-hour flight, Yuri is exhausted and his chest aches like no other. He’s never binded for this long before, and his body is protesting vehemently, but he doesn’t know when he’ll be able to remove the tape. He needs to wait until he gets to Hasetsu, at least, because he certainly isn’t removing it when he still has to navigate the train system. He doesn’t even know if he’ll be able to take off the tape when he reaches Yuuri and Viktor, since he can’t be sure they’ll let him stay with them. He’s exhausted and his skin feels raw and he’s starting to wish he had never decided to come to Japan in the first place, at least then he could be at home in his own bed and his chest wouldn’t be screaming at him like this.

 

But Yuri Plisetsky isn’t a quitter, and so he makes his way toward the train station with his chin held high.

 

\----

 

Buying tickets and finding the right train proves to be more difficult than anticipated. Yuri’s English is pretty good, but he knows absolutely no Japanese, and several of the people he talks to have just as much trouble with his accent as he has with theirs.

 

By the time Yuri gets off the train in Hasetsu he feels about ready to collapse. His lungs feel constricted and his skin feels like it has been rubbed raw with a piece of sandpaper. Besides that, he’s been awake for almost 24 hours if you don’t count the fitful sleep that he had on the plane, which Yuri doesn’t.

 

Approaching his breaking point, Yuri leans against a railing and screams Viktor’s name out over the bay.

 

“Fan of Viktor’s, are you?” asks a man with a fishing pole in heavily accented English. “There’s a skating rink below the castle. Try there,” he says, pointing across the bay.

 

“Oh, um. _Arigatou_ ,” replies Yuri shakily.

 

When he arrives at the ice rink, Yuri finds the front entrance surrounded by a horde of reporters. He makes his way around the edge of the crowd and is about to go through the doors when a shrill voice yells, “Hey! You can’t go in there!”

 

“Huh?” Yuri whips around to see three little girls attempting to hold back the reporters.

 

Upon seeing Yuri’s face, the girls gasp. “Yulia Plisetskaya?!” asks one incredulously.

 

Another nudges the first in the ribs. “Don’t be dumb, Axel. Its Yuri Plisetsky. Duh. He’s the junior world champion!”

 

Yuri feels the sudden overwhelming urge to protect these small children. _Wait. What?_ Shaking himself, Yuri asks, “Viktor’s inside, isn’t he?”

 

“Come in, come in!” chorus the girls in unison, bowing to him.

 

Just then, Katsuki Yuuri himself runs up and leans against the doors, gasping for breath. “Hey, get this!” he says excitedly. “My weight’s back to what it was before the Grand Prix Final! Now I’ll finally get Viktor’s permission to skate!”

 

Overcome by a sudden wave of anger toward his idol, Yuri grabs the front of Yuuri’s jacket and shoves him through the doors into the rink. How dare he steal Viktor from him! Stupid Yuuri for making stupid Viktor fall for him. “It’s all your fault,” hisses Yuri. “Apologize!”

 

“Uh, sorry?” says Yuuri dubiously.

 

“Viktor promised me first that they’d choreograph a program for me. What about you?” Yuri is still seething.

 

Yuuri blinks. “Huh? We haven’t gotten to talking about programs or anything.”

 

“What?!” asks Yuri incredulously. “You make them take a whole year off, and to do what? Isn’t getting them as a coach enough?” _Crap,_ Yuri thinks. _Here I go again, screaming at Yuuri._

 

Yuuri smirks at him. “I don’t really get the whole picture, so you should ask them yourself.” Then he walks over to open the door to the rink.

 

Inside, Viktor is skating to the short program they had been choreographing before they had left. “Hey Viktor!” Yuri yells, having lost his patience already.

 

Viktor slides to a stop and turns around in surprise. “Yuri? You’re here? I’m surprised Yakov let you come. What do you want?”

 

Yuri can feel the anger bubbling up inside him. _Is that really all you have to say for yourself?_

 

“Oh no,” says Viktor in that fake-disappointed-in-themselves voice. “Judging from that look, I’m guessing I forgot some promise I made.”

 

Yuri snaps. “You guess?!” he screams incredulously. “You promised to be there for me! You promised to help me transition into the senior men’s division! And then you left without even telling me where you were going!”

 

Viktor’s shoulders sag in defeat, and Yuri can see Yuuri shifting uncomfortably beside him. “Oh, Kitten. I’m sorry. I didn’t think about how my decision to come coach Yuuri would affect you.”

 

“Yeah, obviously. You never think,” snaps Yuri bitterly. “And don’t call me Kitten. You don’t get to do that when I’m mad at you.”

 

Viktor fixes him with a fond gaze and skates toward the edge of the rink. “I really am sorry, Yurochka. But you know I’m the forgetful type.”

 

Yuri snorts. “Yeah, I’m painfully aware of that. But a promise is a promise. Please come back to Russia,” his voice cracks and he can feel the weight of the past twenty-four hours crashing into him.

 

Suddenly there are strong arms guiding him toward a bench. “Here Yuri, you should sit down,” says Yuuri gently, concern coloring his voice. “You look like you’re about to collapse!”

 

“Yeah, it’s…been a long day,” says Yuri reluctantly. He leans his head back against the wall behind him and tries to take deep breaths through his constricted lungs.

 

“Viktor,” Yuuri says. “I think we should take Yuri back to the hot springs. He looks like he’s about to pass out.”

 

“I don’t wanna take a bath with other people,” mumbles Yuri.

 

Yuuri laughs. “You don’t have to. Come on. Viktor, help me with Yuri.”

 

“I can walk by m’self,” snaps Yuri.

 

“I know you can,” says Yuuri gently. “I’m just going to have Viktor walk with you just in case. I’ll get your suitcase.”

 

\----

 

When they get to the hot springs, Yuri is introduced to Yuuri’s parents and then is shown the guest room where Yuuri says that he can stay.

 

As soon as the door is shut, Yuri collapses on the floor and crawls over to his suitcase. His back to the door, he gingerly lifts his shirt over his head. Tears sting his eyes as he carefully begins to peel off his binding tape, the rough edges catching on his raw skin. Bracing himself against the pain, he yanks the front part of the tape off in one swift motion.

 

The stabbing pain rips a broken cry from his throat as he hunches over and tries to force air into his lungs.

 

“Yuri?” calls a voice in alarm.

 

Before he can cover himself, the door behind him slides open. He lets out a sob and suddenly Yuuri is there, kneeling in front of him and placing a gentle hand on his knee.

 

Yuri yelps and crosses his arms across his chest; a decision that he immediately regrets.

 

Yuuri takes in the pile of used tape and the raw skin of Yuri’s back and chest and sighs. “Yuri, hasn’t anyone told you that it’s not safe to bind with tape?”

 

Yuri splutters and can’t even come up with a decent insult, because his idol, Katsuki Yuuri, who he’s looked up to for as long as he can remember, is kneeling in front of him giving him advice about binding. “I…uh…”

 

Yuuri sighs again and reaches out to take Yuri’s hand. “Come on,” he says gently. “I’ll help you get cleaned up, if you’re comfortable with that?”

 

Yuri lets out a startled laugh. He might as well. How much weirder can this day get? “Yeah, okay.”

 

Yuuri leads him into the bathroom where he gently applies antibacterial ointment to the raw skin of his chest and back. “You aren’t going to be able to bind for a few days while this heals, you know.”

 

“Yeah, okay,” agrees Yuri reluctantly. “How do you know so much about binding anyway?”

 

Yuuri blushes. “Well, when I was in Detroit for school, one of my best friends was trans. Well, he still is trans, obviously. Phichit? From Thailand? You might know him. He’s an AFAB demiboy, so when I was his roommate he taught me all about binding. It was actually Phichit that helped me start to figure out my own gender identity.”

 

Yuri is so startled that he nearly smacks his head against Yuuri’s. “Huh?! You’re not cis? Oh my god have I been using the wrong pronouns for you this whole time?”

 

Yuuri laughs at Yuri’s shocked expression. “No, no, don’t worry about it. I’m genderfluid, so any pronouns are fine with me.”

 

Yuri feels, once again, that he’s been hit over the head with a wooden plank. “Okay, well that’s…cool. Who would have guessed that so many internationally-ranked skaters are trans, huh?”

 

“I know, right? Let the revolution begin.”

 

Yuri is startled into laughter. “Anyway, thanks for doing this,” he says, suddenly shy and gesturing at his chest that was now loosely wrapped in gauze.

 

“Of course! Just make sure you don’t bind for a few days and never use tape again.”

 

“What the hell am I supposed to use instead?” asks Yuri, scowling.

 

“I’ll figure something out,” promises Yuuri with a twinkle in his eyes. “Now go get some sleep. I’m sure Viktor will have us up running at the crack of dawn tomorrow, so you better rest up.”

 

Yuri rolls his eyes. “Okay mom.”

 

“Goodnight my son!” calls Yuuri with a smirk.

 

Yuri hurries back to his room before Yuuri can try to adopt him (not that he would necessarily be opposed to that particular development, but no one needs to know that).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Arigatou (ありがとう) = Thank you
> 
> \----
> 
> Oh my god I'm so glad I finally got to write Yuuri into this! He is such a protective mom and I would die for him tbh.
> 
> Also, Yuri with the triplets makes me emotional ok. He would be such a good big bro.
> 
> If you feel like screaming about trans yoi or anything really (I'm deep in Haikyuu!! hell rn), come find me on [tumblr](http://rainbow-yuuri.tumblr.com/)!
> 
> As always, kudos and comments are greatly appreciated! They make my day!!


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> trans related shenanigans

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so... I wrote this over a week ago and I have no idea why I didn't post it then? I don't know you guys my life's a mess right now.
> 
> anyway...enjoy!!

Yuri is awoken the next morning by the soft early morning light filtering in through the guest room window. His ribs still throb with a dull ache and his skin still feels raw but overall, he’s feeling much better.

 

Slipping on a loose crewneck with a tiger emblazoned on the front, Yuri makes his way toward the kitchen in search of food. He’s about to slide open the screen that separates the private living area from the public part of the hot springs, when he recognizes the sound of Viktor and Yuuri’s hushed voices coming from the kitchen.

 

“…didn’t know it would affect him like this,” says Viktor softly.

 

Yuuri huffs in what must be frustration. “How could you not, though? I mean, you were the first person he came out to, right? He obviously trusts and relies on you a lot. And you didn’t even tell him you were leaving? I’m sorry Viktor, but what the hell?”

 

There’s a pause, and then: “You’re right Yuuri. I’ve just never wanted to um, be close to someone this badly before. I guess I didn’t know how to react. When I saw you skating my routine, it was like the rational part of my brain completely shut off and I just had to see you immediately.”

 

Yuri has to physically force the stomach acid back down his throat. When did Viktor become so _gross?_

 

“Th-that’s n-not an excuse!” Yuuri stutters. Yuri can _hear_ his blush. Pathetic. “Yuri clearly looks up to you, especially because you’re so publically and unapologetically trans. Did you even know that he doesn’t have a proper binder? For Christ’s sake, Viktor. He could have seriously injured himself, especially if he was using that tape while skating.”

 

“I’m sorry!” cries Viktor. “I didn’t know that binding was so dangerous.”

 

“And you didn’t think to research it?” asks Yuuri incredulously.

 

“I…the idea never occurred to me. Please don’t be mad at me Yuuri~.”

 

Yuuri sighs audibly. “I’m not…I’m not mad. Look, Viktor. I respect you so much, you’re an amazing skater and coach. But sometimes you can be so oblivious.”

 

Viktor scoffs. “Me? I’m the oblivious one? Oh, that’s ironic, coming from you.”

 

“Excuse me?” says Yuuri in what is surely a dangerous tone.

 

Yuri chooses that moment to make his presence known, not wanting the argument to escalate further. He clears his throat and pushes open the screen. “What’s for breakfast? I’m starving.”

 

The two turn to look at him with wide eyes. Yuuri coughs awkwardly and gestures toward the counter. “There’s stuff on the stove. Help yourself.”

 

“We’ll head to the rink as soon as you’re ready, Yurochka,” adds Viktor.

 

Yuri snorts disdainfully. “Oh? You’ve decided I’m worthy of the omnipotent Viktor and their superior coaching skills?”

 

“Omni-what?” asks Viktor, frowning. “Yuri, I told you not to use fancy English vocab on me. You know that I never finished school.”

 

Yuuri giggles, and the tense atmosphere dissipates from the stagnant morning air. “It means all-powerful. Your English is super impressive, Yuri.”

 

“Yeah yeah, whatever, Katsudon. Let’s just get to the rink,” Yuri replies, hiding his blush at Yuuri’s praise behind his hair.

 

Just then, the screen slides open and a girl about Viktor’s age waltzes in. “Oh!” she claps her hands delightedly. “This must be the Russian Yuri! How cute, he looks just like a mini version of my favorite band member. But how confusing that your name sounds the same as our Yuuri’s. I know, I’ll call you Yurio!”

 

Yuri just stares at her slack-jawed while Viktor and Yuuri burst out laughing. “This is my sister Mari,” says Yuuri between giggles.

 

“Come on, Yurio,” Viktor chokes out, tears leaking from their eyes. “Let’s get ready to go to the rink.”

 

“Vitya, you bastard! Don’t you start calling me that!”

 

But Viktor just cackles and waltzes out of the room. Yuuri shrugs apologetically and follows them.

 

\----

 

When they finally make it to the rink, Viktor and the triplets announce their grand plan to have the two Yuris compete for Viktor’s coaching. Even though he considers himself to be fiercely competitive, Yuri knows deep down that he will never beat Katsuki when Viktor is the one judging. They’ve been so whipped for the Japanese skater ever since that damn Grand Prix banquet that they uprooted their entire life and moved halfway around the world just to coach him. Yuri knows that he doesn’t stand a chance.

 

Still, he plans to take full advantage of the short program routine that Viktor is choreographing for him so that when the time comes, he can beat Katsudon in a competition that really matters.

 

\----

 

A week after arriving in Hasetsu, the three of them are sitting down to dinner when Yuuri blushes and pulls a box out from under the table. Yuri sets down his chopsticks and frowns.

“What’s in the box, Katsudon?”

 

Yuuri clears his throat and slides the box across the low table. “It’s a present. From me and Viktor.”

 

Viktor laughs and pats Yuri on the shoulder. “It’s not really from me. Yuuri’s the one that came up with the idea and organized it.”

 

Yuuri rolls his eyes. “Whatever, Viktor. Just open it, Yuri.”

 

Yuri shrugs and jiggles the box to free the lid from its base. Inside, nestled among some tissue paper, is a white chest binder. Yuri runs his hands over it reverently as the increasingly familiar prick of tears starts up in the corners of his eyes.

 

“Do you like it?” asks Yuuri nervously. “I asked Phichit which brand was best since I had no idea and we had to get your costume measurements from Yakov so I hope it fits okay and I can order you more there’s a bunch of different colors but I wanted to make sure you liked it first and – oomph!”

 

Yuri tackle-hugs Yuuri, causing them both to fall back into Viktor. “Thank you,” he mumbles into Yuuri’s chest.

 

“Oh,” replies Yuuri, sounding startled. “You’re welcome.”

 

\----

 

After watching shitty soap operas for several hours, Yuri falls asleep on Yuuri’s lap. Viktor takes pictures for evidence.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading and putting up with my random update schedule :*
> 
> come say hi on [tumblr](http://rainbow-yuuri.tumblr.com/)!


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